Interesting blog posted by Melanie

No Band Aids

I read a book that told me I can do, have and be whatever I wanted. That all I had to do was think positively. So I tried it. I thought positively. I modified my negative thoughts and dramatic reactions. I told myself the negativity wasn’t productive and no good could come of it. Things changed a little bit. I felt a temporary lightning. I had more moments in which I positively enjoyed. But in the end the weight was still there. I was just denying that deep down inside I was negative. I was denying who I was, what years of experience made me. In a sense, I was telling myself I wasn’t right the way I was so I had to be different. So I tried to be positive, something I was not. I’ve been conditioned to think the worst of people and assume the worst out of every situation. I stuck with it for a while but not long enough to see how many times I had to say it before I believed it. I tried other books but most self help books function on the same premise: something inside you is off, try what I say, or try what worked for me to save yourself. But none of them could save me. Some of them spoke in a way that was so hard to understand that if you stretched your imagination far enough you could believe the information came from a life form more intelligent than us. It’s dense, its esoteric, it’s hard to relate to. Others told me I could change my life through positive thinking, prayer or the law of attraction. But they lacked concrete advice and application. While we can see the value in the information and see how it could work we are still at a loss of knowing how to apply it to our lives to affect change.

The books that have been most valuable to me are the ones where you have to put thoughtful reflection and work into developing your own outcome. Where it gives you the room to breathe so you can come to your own conclusions of how to heal your own life. Everybody is unique and everybody has to figure out their own way or else they’re left chasing someone else’s reality instead of their own. A book can be a guide, therapy can be a guide, a mentor can be a guide but they are just that, hands to help you get in touch with yourself to affect change. Books like “The Artist’s Way” and my most recent endeavour, “the 21 day consciousness cleanse” have been the most effective in getting down to the root of my problems. No band aids. Through them I’ve been able to get in touch with the deep seated beliefs I have about myself and human kind as well as my beliefs about the divine. They forced me to think in a way that was connected to myself and not outside of myself. It’s hard work, sweat and tears. Harder than any manual labour I’ve ever endured but we’re unrealistic to think that we can read some book and be changed. There are no quick fixes. Just like you can’t speed up your childhood, you can’t speed your growth. Why would you want to? When most people look back on their childhood they wished they had enjoyed it more anyway.

This is one to let yourself fully experience. And even though it doesn’t sound like loads of fun, there is value in letting yourself feel like shit and working through it with the intention of bettering yourself. I did it and I’ve found my own way. Not the way Debbie Ford wrote about but my own way. Now I’m still new to this way of being, I don’t know know what the world has in store for me and I certainly don’t have all the answers but I do know this. I live my life differently now. No more band aids.

Author: Melanie


Gitte Falkenberg:

Hi Melanie.

Interesting article 🙂

I can only agree with you. No book can ever make us happy.

The only one that can make you happy is your self.
People think that external factors are the ones that makes us happy. The thing is, that this way of thinking makes us very unhappy, as things seldom are so perfect, that we feel really happy.

What we need to do, is to realise, that it is up to us. Not someone or something else.
It is up to us, to treasure our lives, to appreciate all the beauty that the world has to offer, to take the chances we meet on our way, and to do it all with a calm and peaceful mind.

We need to be happy with what is, instead of nagging about, how we think things should be.
And if we believe we can do better, just go for it. It takes action to go places.

Another thing that makes us stay on the unhappy road is, that we hold on to our negative feelings about situations in life.
Some choose to call it experiences, and yes that is true. It is experiences, but is that reason enough to carry it with us our whole lives? Not really. The only thing we get from that is a bad mood. So my thought about that is to release all this bad stuff.
Forgive who ever you carry with you every day. What ever they did, they didn’t know better.
The same goes for our selves. We need to forgive ourselves too. I mean, what have we ever done, that is so awful, that we need to carry it with us and punish ourselves for it the rest of our lives.

I am writing a lot of articles about happiness, and on a regularly basis, I publish these on my blog.
Feel free to read it if you feel like it.

My sources of inspiration, are some of the most well known and greatest life coaches in the world.
Psychology is also a big part of my inspiration.

What I have found after studying this for years is, that all theses people (and methods like e.g. NLP), are build on Buddhism. For that reason, I have chosen to go deeper into Buddhism as well, to get the underlying basics.

Buddhism takes a very straightforward look at our human condition. Nothing is based on wishful thinking, and everything can be verified by our own observation of the way things are.

The blog is fairly new, but in my opinion, this blog will get very interesting in time. Hope to see you there 🙂

All the best,


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2 thoughts on “Interesting blog posted by Melanie

  1. Thank you for posting my blog and for responding with your life’s experience and wisdom. I agree we must release all that negativity. It’s results are destructive and are in no way who we are intended to be. It’s beneficial to exercise forgiveness and compassion.
    It’s amazing the world that opens up and what you find once you start exploring. Buddhism is very intriguing to me.
    I’m excited about what you’re creating. Keep it up.
    Thanks for putting me on to some authors.

  2. Hi Melanie.

    You are very welcome. 🙂
    I found your blog post very interesting, as I believe that many feel the same, as you describe in your post.
    For that reason I thought that many would appreciate being able to read it.

    And of course I write you as author. Nothing less would be ok.


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